I’m Ashamed of Myself

I have to admit there are some things in my life I do I’m not real proud of.

On Monday night I twittered about one of them ( CLICK HERE to follow me on twitter. Twitter is the totally random statements that make up my life).

We were in the living room hanging out when I noticed that Brewer (age 2) had a dirty diaper. When I say noticed, I mean I smelled an odor which indicated to me it was quite probable something nasty had happened in his pants.

In that moment I made a decision. I decided to ignore the odor in hopes that Brandi would notice and decide to take action.

I’m not proud of it, but I did it.

It’s confession day here at Without Wax and it’s your turn. What are you not proud of?

65 Responses to “I’m Ashamed of Myself”

  1. Tommy Sircy says:

    I’m not proud of keeping things to myself, when I should be sharing with others.

  2. SHerri says:

    This sounds like a set up. I ain’t playin’.

    Well, I will say this since it’s already out there….

    I’m not proud of the “spider Monkey” comment I made on here a few days ago. I don’t where that came from. I’m one embarrased “Lilly white Momma”!

  3. I’m not proud of the way I sometimes take my hurt and frustrations out on others instead of pressing into God.

  4. Scenerio: Gramma (who is an awesome baker) brought over a tray of her incredible Christmas cookies just before the kids got home from school in December years ago. I thanked her, told her how much the kids would love them, walked back to her car with her and waved goodbye as she pulled away. Suddenly … out of the blue … with no premeditation … I turned into the Cookie Monster! I checked my watch. I had 12 minutes until the school bus would arrive. I ran lickedy-split into the house. Ate every single cookie. Washed the tray. Put it under my bed so the kids wouldn’t recognize Gramma’s tray. Flew into the living room. Grabbed a magazine and sat down just as my darlings came in the front door.
    I am so ashamed. I never told them what I’d done. I did however, tell my mom the next week. I’m also ashamed to say that I told her – not out of genuine sorrow – but so she wouldn’t ask the kids how they liked the cookies.
    That was 15 years ago. Shame on me.

  5. Babs says:

    I’m not proud of my mouth, the words that I think are okay to say aren’t bad until I put them in a sentence with a period at the end and realize I may be hurting someone in a few days or hours. I know I use it for justification in how I am being treated and in God’s eyes it doesn’t make it right.
    Shame on me.

  6. beth taylor says:

    That is the game parents play. Don’t forget the pretend-you’re-asleep-and-hopefully-he/she-will-hear-the-baby-cry-and-get-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night maneuver. This should be an Olympic sport. (I have a silver and a bronze in these categories…I have three boys that are a lot older than yours)

  7. Pete Wilson says:

    @beth taylor, ok, ok, I’ll admit I played that one as well.

  8. One time I left my son in the car with the car running and told him to lock the doors while I ran inside the store real quick. My son said cool because he was watching a movie. Five minutes later I return to the car and my son is knocked out sleep (I mean not responding to banging on the window, rocking the SUV sleep) with the movie headphones on, car running and doors locked.

    Not a fun call to my lovely wife who is a Child Welfare Social Worker.

  9. Adam says:

    @Scott Williams.. Holy crap. that is crazy.. sounds like something I would do. I cannot even what the phone call was like.

    I think I am ashamed with just how short my fuse it somedays with my kids. Those are the days I feel like my dad.. and that really freaks me out.

  10. Jennifer says:

    The ridiculously out of control hissy fit I threw toward my children yesterday. Really why can’t someone just swoop buy and smack me before something like that happens. I did try to stay patient but they just kept pushing. Must figure out a better way to get my children to listen and obey without snapping like a crazy woman.

  11. Pete Wilson says:

    @Jennifer, I know what you mean. Brandi, does that from time to time. :) Ok, it’s actually me. Embarrassing isn’t it?

  12. danielle says:

    Pete,

    Don’t be too hard on yourself… I’m fairly certain there’s a time that every mom or dad alive tried to ignore a poopy diaper. I have! ha!

  13. Carrie says:

    I have so many that I don’t know where to start!

    The one that is on my mind today is when I lose my temper with my boys over the little things. It ruins my day and I am sure it ruins their’s as well. I grit my teeth and just scream at them sometimes! For instance, Aiden, my 5 year old, decided to not aim in the toilet, but let it bounce of the back of the toilet into the bowl. Devil mom came out and I sent him to school in tears. This was two weeks ago and I am still upset about the way I reacted. I am glad to know he still loves his mommy. He did not want me to go to work today because he just wanted to cuddle all day. Unconditional love … amazing.

    PS … what’s with the toilet thing anyway???? Seriously! Ok, I need to let it go.

  14. David says:

    I don’t have any children yet so I’m not proud of the future diapers I will ignore.

  15. i’m not proud of yelling at my kids during times of frustration. it’s lazy parenting and i know it!

  16. Pete Wilson says:

    @Carrie, I still do the “bounce off the back of the seat” thing and I’m 34. These days I don’t do it on purpose but at 2am it just kind of happens. I guess it’s just a guy thing! :)

  17. mpt says:

    In 1997 I had a crush on Elizabeth Dole. I’m lying. It was 1999.

  18. Gina says:

    Not being able to let go of some baggage and send an email to my niece by marriage who said some pretty hateful things to me, she is 23, I am 50. So…who is the child. Pete, your baggage series is getting me closer and I know that when I do send the first email to initiate healing I will feel better.

  19. kc says:

    I occasionally play with Barbie dolls.

  20. Pete don’t feel ashamed of yourself. Every parent has done this! I personally am ashamed of how unorganized things are in our house. It is clean, just not organized. When you have someone that won’t let you throw anything away “stuff” just builds up. We need a house cleansing!

  21. tonyyork says:

    Man, oh, Man… got all day? Probably not. I could probably blister the screen of the computer if I confessed just how human I am and have been.

    If I had to choose one thing to confess it would be that there are times when I steal God’s glory because I enjoy being noticed for a particularly good lesson or engaging teaching session. Maybe that is why God allows me to get so frustrated about topics – He wants me to know that I have a lot to learn and I don’t have all the answers and the things He teaches me are still HIS.

    Pride comes from a lack of humility – so that is my confession today.

  22. Giant Idiot says:

    Having this salty discharge coming from my eyes while watching Armageddon.

  23. JoJo says:

    I keeping reminding myself what I read in a magazine that Reese Witherspoon said – “if you don’t yell at your kids, then you don’t spend enough time with them” – and I obviously spend way too much time with mine! I am glad I am not alone with that one.

    P.S. – I am with you on the “bounce off the back of the toilet thing” – I don’t get it!

  24. candidchatter says:

    I yell at my kids. So what? Right? No, I yell at them too much. I keep blaming it on hormones. What it comes down to is a choice that I make. I get irritated with them because they are interrupting something I want or need to do — read a blog, write, read a book, household chores, talk on the phone, etc. I am expert at putting junk before them. It sucks. I am constantly convicted. I repeatedly ask God to purge this from me. Yet I continue to do it day after day. Makes me feel like a jerk.

    Heidi Reed

  25. Jonathan says:

    I screen telephone calls at times when I know I probably shouldn’t. Just plain lazy and selfish.

  26. tylerjewell says:

    I get mad at stupid drivers.

  27. The most shameful thing I’ve done, that I can think of, is that I neglected to tell my former roommate when I accidentally let her cat out, and the poor cat never came home!
    You ignoring a nasty diaper isn’t looking so bad, now, huh? :)

  28. tayedrums says:

    Thanks for the comment and visit! I don’t guess my language is really where it should be. Laziness runs rampant…but today I actually got into the word….one day in a row! (yay me…sarcasm)

  29. Bill Renfrew says:

    @Scott W: Now THAT’s some real honesty right there!!!! Why am I laughing so hard? (My umteenth sin of the day and it’s only 9:30 a.m.)

    @Pete. Making my wife feel guilty about wanting to pay more than $25 to have her hair done after just Pay Pal’ing a guy $180 for a pair of amazing monitoring headphones…hey I NEEDED them for the business…studio expense, right? pppppfffffff….whatever. My selfishness in high fi….

  30. Harold says:

    I am not proud of the fact that I own a BowFlex and am currently not using it. (And the thing is I love it!)

  31. speaking of dirty diapers and poop over at http://www.ichilly.com 3 or 4 weeks ago…on his blog Chilly equated poop with sin and how it stinks…thought of myself, the night before I had picked up one of my dogs and the poop from his butt was on my arm…yeah, I know that is gross…I wiped it off of my skin then went inside and washed with soap & water…however, when I sin I am not so quick to clean it up…something is wrong there!…I am working on it…I stink!

  32. millerisms says:

    I did not call a friend who needed my help!
    Boy that hurts!

  33. Pete Wilson says:

    @Bill Renfrew, now that one cut right to my heart. Wow, I’m so guilty of being selfish from time to time.

  34. I feel a little bit bad that I am at work and should be working but am looking a blogs. Not too bad though because it is my lunch break- BUT I have to admitt, I do it too even when I am not at lunch.

  35. jodyduncan says:

    I’m with Tony, PRIDE.

  36. Heather says:

    I am most ashamed of how out of control my temper used to be. Even though God has done a great work in me and I don’t allow my temper to get out of control anymore, I know my words have hurt my children on more than a few occassions. It breaks my heart. Praise God they love me for who I am! Even the ugly parts that make me want to hide my face in shame.

  37. jason says:

    That I don’t like the clothes my wife dresses my son in.

  38. ryan guard says:

    I’m ashamed at the way some of the people in my church handled the Prop 8 campaign. :(

  39. Tommy says:

    that i allow bitterness into my life.

  40. sara says:

    I’m Catholic. We go behind a screen before we admit this stuff. 8O
    ;)

  41. D.Lake says:

    I don’t call my parents like I should…sometimes out of spite.

    This feels like PostSecret.com

  42. bluegoose says:

    Don’t get me wrong…I am a girl that loves NFL football! Isn’t that why God created Fall Sunday afternoons for??? However, what I am ashamed of is that I really enjoy watching Sunday Night Football on NBC because I still find Cris Collinsworth cuter than my hubs of 20 yrs!!! What can I say….he caught my eye while I was still calling dear hubs awful names – I was in 8th grade for goodness sake!!!

  43. Jenny says:

    I lose it with my kids way too often! I see that I’m not alone in this area from all the comments here. I DO NOT want to be that mom anymore though.

  44. Andrea says:

    That I don’t open up to my parents since their divorce at the beginning of the year, they really try but sometimes I just cut them off because I don’t feel like dealing with things.

  45. Gina says:

    That I didn’t have the strength to quit smoking. All of a sudden just moments ago I recv’d an email from my work about joining a smoking cessation program at no cost. I joined…who wants to be my email friend to talk to when I start craving, or coffee friend after church to keep me smoke free. I attend the 10:30 at crosspoint.

  46. Amy says:

    I guess I have alot to confess. Lol. My biggest confession is that I’ve turned my back on God. Everyone I talk to says I turned from god and not him turning from me. So I guess as of right now thats my biggest confession.

  47. cbgrace says:

    Wow some great confessions here…people are getting real. My turn:

    I am ashamed that I always seem to think of the meanest thing to say. I am very straight forward and I don’t always think about how something might sound to someone else. People always think that I say exactly what I am thinking and many times they think it is harsh…but the truth is, many times, I do NOT the sharpest things that comes into my head because many times what is funny or sharp is the meanest thing.

  48. Fran says:

    Complete selfishness….with time, wants, or whatever. Not pretty. And, people tell me I’m so unselfish….if they could see behind closed doors. Ick.

  49. Pete Wilson says:

    @Gina, very cool. Is there someone here that can help Gina out?

  50. “It’s confession day here at Without Wax and it’s your turn. What are you not proud of?”

    OK, so…

    Monday night I was reading through twitter and I read your tweet that said you were ignoring the dirty diaper. I immediately laughed out loud and thought that was awesome.

    Now I am riddled with guilt…

  51. Joseph says:

    My biggest confession is that there are times when I am having a great day (which is most of the time), I will avoid certain people who I know probably are not and are looking to talk to me about it. Very selfish.

  52. Nate VZ says:

    I confess that right now I am pretending to be interested in this blog so that my wife, Holly, will continue cleaning up the dinner table and dishes.

  53. Ruthie says:

    I knew my body needed to take vitamins regularly and I have neglected to take them for over a year, now I am critically anemica, had to have a blood transfusion yesterday because of my neglect and will have a long road to getting my healthy back. I am now costing my family money we don’t have and could have permanent damage to my heart and other organs. :(

  54. shannon says:

    I’ve done the diaper thing, but now that the girls are potty trained, i’ve moved on to hiding out in another room if the dog pees in the kitchen floor. that’s terrible. man i really feel bad now.

  55. ally says:

    The things that come out of my mouth, particularly when I’m with certain people…it’s like I revert a little to my life before my faith really became central to my life, and I say things that I know I shouldn’t and that do not glorify God. It’s particularly easy at work and around clients who already apologize every time they cuss in front of me; it’s almost like I want to prove to them that I’m not a prude.

  56. I’m a T.V. junkie. I will sit and watch it from morning till bedtime if I can.

  57. Cheri Pryor says:

    That I don’t separate my children’s actions from who they ARE. It doesn’t allow me to truly forgive them and move on and I think ultimately it hurts them even more. *sigh*

  58. @ Amy I’ve been where you are … and I’m praying that God’s outrageous love for you will stagger you this week.

  59. mandy says:

    I guess I’ll add my childhood celebrity crush to the mix.

    Michael Jackson – Thriller album…

  60. Joy says:

    I’m not proud that raise my voice too often with my wonderful, gifts-from-God children.

  61. Tre Lawrence says:

    Wow. You should be ashamed. I have never done the diaper thing.

    Darn… now i have to repent for lying.

  62. haha!!! I have to admit that I’ve done that more than once.

    Sometimes I take my anger and frustration out on the three people closest to me. It bothers and hurts them, I don’t like that about myself. I’m trying to fix it. or let HIM fix it rather…I can’t.

  63. mysoul says:

    Oh wow! The diaper change was always my job, now I am wondering, was that my husband’s Trick to never be around when kids needed the change?…. hmmmm.

    Not proud of Procrastination. I tend to procrastinate on jobs that I dont like(like folding laundry, exercising or calling the bank etc. and knowing they will put me on hold) but has to be done anyway.

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